gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
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