Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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