He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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