Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
