So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
