Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
