I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
