I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
