I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
