her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize
