By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
