Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
You dont lie about slip and slides
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Just puked most of my soul out..
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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