Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
