You can't motorboat a personality
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
