Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
ok first of all what the fuck
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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