If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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