tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Randomize
