I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
