So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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