Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Randomize
