ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
My brain says no but my pants say off.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
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