what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
this is an emotional support booty call
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
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