i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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