Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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