You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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