i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
