No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
