i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Randomize
