Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
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