You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
