You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
