you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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