two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
