yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Randomize
