i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
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