My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
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