didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
