last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
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