Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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