i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
