You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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