We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
so let's talk penis.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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