I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
