what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
