She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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