Your tits are I can't wait for
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
