the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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