he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I love you.
Bad choice
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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