I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
