I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Randomize
