Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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